Why men sleep better than women
Do you wake up groggy while your male partner is full of energy? It's not your imagination—men really do tend to sleep better than women. Learn why this is, and five things you can do about it
By Jennifer Goldberg
If you sleep beside a male partner, chances are good that you’ve marvelled at his ability to konk out as soon as his head hits the pillow while you lie awake watching the minutes blink by on your clock radio. You’re not alone in this particular battle of the sexes—a recent Stats Can study of Canadians’ sleep habits showed that 35 percent of women polled reported difficulty falling and staying asleep, compared to only 25 percent of men. Interestingly, the study also showed that women tend to sleep about an average of 11 minutes longer each night than their male counterparts do.
Though these results may seem just as mind-boggling as your man’s ability to drift off during horror flicks, Helen Driver, a Kingston, Ont.-based sleep researcher and president of the Canadian Sleep Society, says the reason for these findings is twofold. “Women may need a little more sleep than men do," she explains, "and we also experience more sleep problems, such as insomnia.”
The role of hormones
So what's the problem? One explanation could be hormonal changes throughout our reproductive cycles. “Women are more prone to having poor sleep around menstruation, and that’s related to pain and mood changes,” Driver says.
Pregnancy is another known time for sleep disturbance. An increase in the hormone progesterone will have you waking up for endless trips to the washroom in your first trimester and the size of your belly will cause you some discomfort when trying to sleep in your third trimester.
Then in perimenopause, the time right before menopause when women cease to menstruate, a drop in progesterone and estrogen hormone levels may cause symptoms such as nighttime hot flashes and insomnia.
We can't shut our brains off
If all these hormonal changes aren’t enough to make you jealous of your easy-resting man, Driver says emotional sensitivity might be another reason why some women have trouble sleeping.
“Some [experts] suggest that women are more in tune with how they’re feeling and are more sensitive to problems with their sleep,” she explains. “A theory we have is that women tend to ruminate about things a little bit more than men do. Women worry and think about what’s happened during the day, and they’re not able to let things go.”
5 ways to get more sleep
There are effective ways to manage your sleeplessness. The key, says Driver, is to take control of your sleep habits. Rather than adding sleep troubles to your list of daily concerns, realize that periods of disrupted sleep can be perfectly normal.
“The first thing you have to understand is that one night of lost sleep isn’t going to be a catastrophe. What ends up happening is that [you start to think], ‘If I don’t get to sleep now, I won’t be able to function during the day.’ And it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Here's what you can do to break the cycle of sleeplessness and reclaim your rest.
1. Stick to a bedtime routine
The key to maintaining good sleep hygiene is to adhere to a schedule, says Driver. “Try to make sure that your regular bedtime is 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. and stick to that schedule on the weekdays and on the weekends as well,” she suggests.
And make sure to save some time to relax and wind down before you turn in for the night. “You can’t be working on your laptop then switch off the light and expect to go to sleep right away,” says Driver. Try reading or journaling for a half hour before you go to sleep.
2. Restrict your time in bed
Though catching a midday nap might seem like a good idea, Driver says irregular sleeping will do nothing to help you establish good sleeping habits. “If you’re awake during a solid period during the day with no naps, your sleepiness drive is quite strong. If you have a nap or an extended period of sleep in the morning, it's harder to get to sleep at night as your sleep drive has had less time to build up,” she says. Also, if you find that you’re not falling asleep right away, get up out of bed and do a quiet activity until you feel ready to turn in.
3. Exercise outside
Setting the body’s circadian rhythm, the 24-hour clock that tells us when to sleep and wake up, is an important part of establishing good sleep hygiene. “Sunlight is the strongest time cue that we have, so getting out for an early-morning walk would be beneficial,” explains Driver. Try incorporating an outdoor activity, such as a brisk walk to work, into your daily routine and stick to it, even in the winter.
4. Ask your partner for help
The Stats Can study also showed that the average Canadian’s sleep time decreases when children are in the home. No surprise there. But as women traditionally wake to care for kids during the night, their sleep may be more disturbed than their male partners. Though researchers have found that women’s bodies tend to bounce back more easily from sleeplessness in their childbearing years, this disrupted sleep can be especially problematic for those with a history of depression. “That’s where a partner might need to get more involved in getting up at night to allow [his female partner] to have sufficient time to sleep and then to cope better during the day,” says Driver.
5. Talk to your doctor
If your sleeplessness is starting to affect how you function during the day, it’s time to seek professional help. There could be an underlying problem, such as depression or anxiety, that's keeping you from getting your beauty rest. To ensure that your doctor fully understands your symptoms, write down a description of what you’re experiencing and note if there are any patterns to your sleeplessness. “Family physicians often don’t have the time to go through the whole gamut of questions, so it’s important for women to fully describe what they’re feeling,” says Driver.
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Web exclusive: November 2008
Very informative article.....although I'm very surprised at how the male contributions to this article seem to be very demeaning to women. As for Peter - women don't lay in bed thinking about what the wear the next, we're thinking about getting our children ready for school, making it to work on time, finishing our work, picking up the kids from school, getting dinner ready, doing homework, baths, bedtime and doing it all over again! As for "a guy" you try carrying around a 9 lb ball in you crotch and we'll see how good you sleep in the third trimester. Women have much more responsibility, pressured by society - that's why most of us don't get a good night sleep!
A man who does hard physical work , should have little or no trouble sleeping after a day spent sweating,and then going home and feeling dignified. Many times after I had my dinner , I went to sleep and never got up, until it was time to go to work. My last job that I had, required me to drive to another city for 21 years . My 8 hour day turned into a 10 hour day everyday. I worked in the factories for 47 years, doing physical , mostly hard work. To-day I am retired, and can't sleep at all at night. I loved every minute of working, retirement I found is not really for me. I dropped out of school at a young age, and started working. I provided for my wife and two children. I done my best. In my day , I done hard work that other people wouldn't do, so always had to be ready to rise to the occasion. I was never out of a job.I have the ultimate respect for my wife , and my wife has the ultimate respect for me, she let me get the sleep I needed to get us through .
We women have more stress, more responsibilities, a household to run, bills to pay, a job to do, children to raise, and more medical issues to name a few. Men have no repsonsibilities and have easy lives. Not hard to figure out. A solution? Ensure that a spouse does his share of household chores and child rearing. If he refuses dump him.
Peter's comment is just stupid. Women don't lay awake at night worrying about what to wear... HELLO!!!
Most women are thinking about their family, children, bills, work etc.
I do think you need to read the article again.
A very informative article. My husband sleeps like a log while I spend most of the night tossing and turning and lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep. He does not understand why I am exhausted when we went to bed the same time. He will get an email copy of this article :0)
Hi M.D.,
This article might shed some light on how much sleep you really need.
- Jenn Goldberg
http://www.besthealthmag.ca/embrace-life/sleep/how-much-sleep-do-you-really-need
Very Good article, the only thing lacking was information ...that some females are more prone to certain illnesses than males, that include chronic pain and sleep deprivation as being one of many sypmtoms..such as that of Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Endometriosis, etc.. I personally have unfortunately had Endometriosis since the beginning of my menstrual cylcle, Fibromyagia for nearly 20 years and Rheumatoid Arthritis for the last 6 years, and along with them came insomnia. All of these illness induce chronic long term pain and sleep deprivation. I have been to the best of specialists to aid me to return to better health, and had my insomnia confirmed by repeated tests in a medical sleep lab. I am a person who would prefer to use and has tried alternative medicines and natural supplements to try to get a good nights rest, but unfortunealy nothing has worked as well as the combination of prescribed muscle relaxers and sleeping medications, which I don't abuse. I only indulge if I've had 3 nights consecutively without sleep. I am the first person to agree, and who has tried all the other methods to try and get a good night's rest... such as exercise, essential calming oils, relaxing techniques and meditation....but when it comes to a medical illness that can be the cause of sleep deprivation, and none of the alternative methods work, any sleep is better than no sleep in order for your body to heal and repair. A person needs a minimum of 4 hours of REM (rapid eye movement) or dream state sleep per night in order for the body to heal properly. Anything less, and in most cases, any existing illnesses will remain the same and most often times get worse. Hoping this info will be of some benefit to others who suffer with associated illnesses. I am not a medical Doctor, but I do hold the titles of two other diplomas in the medical fields along with the 20 + years of personal experience to back my information. Lack of sleep can be very frustrating to say the least, but more importantly when it is effecting your over all general health, consulting with your family doctor or specialists associated with your specific illnesses should be your first couse of action.
I'm surprised this article didn't explain magnesium's role in insomnia. Magnesium is a mineral used in the nervous system, and its deficiency can cause insomnia. Magnesium deficiency is very common - it is estimated that two-thirds of Americans don't consume enough, and Canada is probably comparable. The reason magnesium deficiency is so common is because most of it can be lost in the processing and refining of foods. An example is nearly 85% of the magnesium in grains is lost during the milling of flours. In addition, cooking and canning foods can destroy most of it. Other things that can cause magnesium deficiency include vitamin D or calcium supplements; alcohol, caffeine, or excess sugar intake; or birth control pills. Don't just take my word on this though. If you have a concern about whether you aren't consuming enough magnesium, consult a physician.
Hi, is it bad if i don't get 8 consecutive hours or sleep? we need 8 hours of sleep a night, but I am a bartender/owner, and I don't get to bed til about 3am. My husband gets up with the baby around 6:30am then wakes me up at 8 so he can go to work (that gives me 5 hours sleep). the Baby and I have a 2 hour nap at 10am, g out and get some air and things done, then a 90 minute nap at 4pm. we have dinner/family time and I head to work around 9pm. is that a healthy/sufficient way to get my 8 hours of sleep? I don't feel tired or drained, but I was wondering if in the long scheme of things this will affect met?
I am a woman who has suffered from insomnia and other sleep problems most of my life. I get annoyed whenever I hear sleep specialists telling people to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. How ridiculously impractical is that? So people with insomnia aren't entitled to go out on a Friday evening and stay out late like 85 percent of the rest of the world, or they're not entitled to experience the joy of sleeping in on a cold wintery day?? If a person gets up at 6 a.m. to get to work on time, they're forced to get up at 6 a.m. for the rest of their lives, even on vacation, because the doctor refuses to prescribe a sleeping pill?? Are insomnia patients not entitled to have a life?? Doctors say they don't want the person to grow dependent upon them. How ridiculous is this? What are sleeping pills for? Chronic lack of sleep for years is a serious health issue, and it's high time physicians developed a sense of compassion for people suffering from this problem. Do I sound cranky? That's what years of sleep deprivation does to a person.
another reason that men sleep better could be because they don't bother to read the crap that appears on women' pages. try not over thinking everything.
I am a woman and I actually sleep better than my male partner. I wonder what this means? I can actually sleep through thunderstorms and other loud noises while the bedroom window is open while my partner stays awake! In light of this article, I find this strange. I guess I am an exception to the norm.
In reference to an earlier posted comment, they recommended an eye-pillow and aromatherapy of sorts, to which I have no objection. Some of us though don't have the time to lounge with said eye-pillow....
Why not try various aromas of good quality scented candles?? I often do this while finishing up my house-hold duties of the day (candles are always used under careful supervision). As far as walking on your own--there's nothing wrong with that to clear your head. I once read that too much time spent alone can lead to depression and as happened to my mother, dementia, which was not common to our family history. I am not an expert by any means, but, I feel a brisk walk with like minded company is a lot more valuable to one's mental health. If you have a dog, all the better--I walk with a couple of other people and our dogs 5 days a week and I think that's the best medicine for our bodies and our mind!!!
Good health and happiness.....Krista.
Maybe cynical but, we sleep better because we don't stay awake worrying about things that aren't worth worrying about- like what to wear tomorrow, for example. No offence-women just think about things like that-nothing wrong with it. We just don't-That's all!
Hello. First of all, guys falling asleep during horror flicks? Mistaken with Drama flicks perhaps? Men are just as susceptible to sleep problems as women, they only differing issue is the part where we are less prone to worrying about the day that has passed. We deal with a stressful day by relaxing as much as we can get away with, so by the time we are ready for bed, we are king of our pillow. We push it out of our mind, cease to care if we are able. Not that we are masters of this, but we do pretty well indeed. If there are issues in a woman's life that has her stressed, and her partner is falling asleep 'too easily' at night, then definitely share the burden! My personal experience is, as long as we've had some time to relax after a stressful day, a kind word towards a subject need sharing is an easier word to hear. I will get frustrated if bombarded instantly, shut down, and retreat. But would be almost happy to share in a days share of troubles if I've had some wind-down time. You may both sleep easier at night.
I do not believe I am a rare case, but for some background, I am an adult, I have ADD, and I most certainly know the effects of depression and insomnia first and second hand. The only thing I found surprising in this article is that it never occurred to me that a women's sleep can be uncomfortable in their Third Trimester. So thanks for the heads up.
Maybe trouble falling asleep comes with age for women? I'm only 18, but I never have trouble falling asleep. I stay up really late studying for school, but as soon as I turn off my laptop and hit the pillow, I'm asleep. On days when I'm not really tired, I review my day for several minutes before closing my eyes to sleep. But the best thing that helps me fall asleep instantly is I begin imagining a story in my mind, like day-dreaming with my eyes closed. =D
Who sleeps best after making love?
You give some very good tips here. These days difficulty falling asleep seems to be an everyday occurrence. It’s just that some days are even worse than others. Here are a few things that help me. You mention this one in your article. First thing I do is walk by myself. It doesn’t have to be an hour walk. Sometimes I’ll go out for only fifteen minutes. I get to think things over without any outside distractions and decide what issues (personal or business), to clear up or resolve first. Just being outside in the fresh air is also very relaxing!
The second thing I do is use an aromatherapy eye pillow. I find it to be extremely relaxing and a terrific way to clear my thoughts and get me in a better frame of mind. The eye pillow blocks out any light and allows me to just unwind. It’s especially great after a tough ride home in traffic. The weight of the flax-seed inside the aromatherapy eye pillow applies the perfect acupressure on my temples and eyes. It’s great for headaches as well. You can find them in a lot of specialty stores and also online. I know that lavender is very soothing and calming but I use peppermint. It just opens up my sinuses and helps me breathe so much better. That fact alone makes it easier for me to fall asleep. The one I use I found online at A Touch Of Satin. You can Goggle their website, if you're interested. They had a page on their site that talked about the benefits of the different scents. You might want to read what they say about them.
Try flipping your pillow over to the cooler side and when you start to think about things on your mind….Just SMILE! Smiling always seems to make things less stressful.
I hope my suggestions help! Great article, by the way.