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Home > Embrace Life > Relationships > How to fix your relationship after an affair

How to fix your relationship after an affair

Think the damage has been done? Staying together after an affair is possible

By Cheryl Fraser, Ph.D.

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Best Health Magazine, May 2011

1. Determine if you're both committed to rebuilding.

Research indicates that it is more difficult for men to forgive their wives a sexual affair than an emotional one, and more difficult for women to forgive their husbands an emotional affair than a sexual one. So remember, what seems less impactful to you may be devastating to your spouse. It will take some time to work through the impact. Together you must determine whether this is the end of your marriage, or the beginning of a new phase in it. You need to deal with the emotions honestly and without resorting to verbal warfare. One of you feels hurt, betrayed and choiceless: "This happened to me and now I have to deal with it." The other feels confused and ambivalent because there are just too many choices - the spouse, the lover, and the endless possibilities for sex and love that the Internet buffet promises. They may love two people, and feel guilty and torn between their options.

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2 Comments

Relationships are difficult, people often lose sight of why they fell in love in the first place. Becoming aware of the way you think and behave and then replacing it with more productive thoughts and behaviours takes effort, but it can drastically improve the state of your relationship and help you to overcome a great deal of relationship challenges. This practice involves using your brain's plasticity to strengthen connections with certain (preferred) behaviour patterns, and the more it is practiced, the stronger the connections get.
There is something The NEXT Program offers, The Program for Couples & Families, that uses your brain's plastic functions to guide you and your partner to having a happy, fulfilled relationship, in 24 weeks It offers something traditional therapy doesn't--results.
Check out the website, it's definitely worth a look. http://www.theNEXTprogram.com

Submitted by Nicole on Fri, 2012-05-11 1:15pm.

Send a copy of this article to to Maria Shriver!

Submitted by ovie on Fri, 2011-05-27 11:37am.