My sexless marriage is NBD
Is my sexless marriage really no big deal? First comes love, then comes marriage, then come a few years of satisfying sexuality. Then the sex slows – and sometimes even stops. Your husband turns away from you in bed. You lie next to him, wanting him still, wondering if this is normal. Time passes. Other men tempt you. You consider leaving, but you choose to stay… He is still your best friend, and in most ways the relationship works. But are you happy?
There are more sexless marriages than we think, and many of them are happy. You may be in one of them. And it may be okay.
“But wait!” you might be thinking. “Isn’t sex a barometer of a healthy relationship?” Well, it may be somewhat heretical for a sex and relationships expert to say this, but… no, not necessarily.
As a psychologist and sex therapist, I talk to people about their sex lives: A difficult, even taboo, topic. My message has always been that when couples don’t see eye to eye about their sex life, it can lead to problems. It’s important to talk about any disconnect, and whether you both want to make creating sexual passion a priority.
However, in my experience, the only thing people find more shameful than talking about their sex life is admitting they don’t have one at all – and that they’re fine with it. Here’s a new message: For some couples, sex is not important and they should stop worrying about it.