Best Health Magazine Canada

Live Better. Feel Great

  • Home
  • Best Looks
    • Beauty
    • Hair
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Skin
    • Style
  • Best You
    • Arthritis and Pain
    • Body Image
    • Cold and Flu
    • Fitness
    • Health
    • Heart Health
    • Home Remedies
    • Relationships
    • Sleep
    • Weight Loss
    • Wellness
  • Best Eats
    • Cooking
    • Diet
    • Digestion
    • Healthy Eating
    • Nutrition
    • Recipes
    • Smoothies
    • Swap and Drop
  • Contests and Games
    • Contests
    • Games
  • Subscribe
    • Give a gift
    • Digital Magazine
Home / Best You / Relationships / These Are The Early Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Going to Last /

These Are The Early Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Going to Last

New love is so intoxicating we often miss the early signs the relationship may be doomed. Here are the red flags experts say you should be wary of.

Lise Marie Conklin, rd.com

View as slideshow

Relationship won't lastphoto credit: shutterstock

If you’re not on the same page, your relationship won’t last

You found someone that shares your penchant for all things British—royal watching, Pembroke Welsh Corgis, and bangers and mash. But what about the other stuff—the core values you hold more dear than sticky toffee pudding? “It’s vital that a couple share a basic, overall picture of how they’d like for their lives to unfold—financially, family, spiritually, lifestyle, contributions to the world, etc.,” says relationship expert Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Bregman. “If it’s becoming apparent from the beginning that you’re both not on the same page with some of life’s core basics, it’s a great sign that this person isn’t ‘the one’ for you,” says Bregman.

Related: Here’s how Hollywood celeb couples keep the spark alive.

Relationship Guard Up

You keep your guard up

Maybe you’ve never been an open book, but you should find it easier to start revealing at least a few chapters. “If you’re finding that you are uneasy with your new partner and unable to drop your guard and be vulnerable, this doesn’t bode well for the future. It’s difficult to have truly honest communication and to share love, fears, and hopes without judgment if you can’t be fully real with them,” explains Bregman.

Related: This super common thing happens when couples stop having sex.

Relationship, couple in bedphoto credit: shutterstock

Your partner can do no wrong

Your new love doesn’t feel contrite or admit wrongdoing—ever: That’s a red flag. “If the new person you’re seeing has a hard time showing you they’re imperfect, or apologizing for even silly mistakes, this relationship won’t last,” says Bregman.

Related: 10 books you need to read if you want a happier relationship.

Relationship. giftphoto credit: shutterstock

Suspicious minds

The problem: You make a gesture—an unexpected gift, for example. Your partner perceives your generosity as the sign of a guilty conscience and accuses you of some sort of betrayal. Bregman points out that a partner who projects their own issues or insecurities onto you is unlikely to be a keeper. “It’s a sign this relationship doesn’t have a rosy future.”

Related: Here are the subtle signs you have a cheating spouse.

Relationship Impossible Testsphoto credit: shutterstock

 Impossible tests

When your new love frequently tests your patience, it’s a fool’s errand, Bergman says. They may do it by not answering your texts for hours when you’re looking for them, all the while posting pics on social media of them out with friends. “It’s a clear sign this relationship probably has an expiration date that is just around the corner,” says Bregman.

Related: 5 things you may not know about infidelity.

Relationship, spiritualphoto credit: shutterstock

Not in sync spiritually

Politics, religion, finances—there are some topics you shouldn’t bring up at dinner parties or with new acquaintances. But all discussions are wide open when you’re sizing someone up for the long haul, says Bregman. His tip is to simply lay out your beliefs and expectations with as much honesty as possible. “Explain what you mean, not just theoretically, but practically as well,” advises Bregman. For example, if you go to church every Sunday, let them know up front. Help the person you’re with understand what your beliefs mean to you, he says. How they react will tell you all you need to know.

Related: The surprising way thinking positive can transform your life.

Relationship, Sinkphoto credit: shutterstock

They run hot and cold

One week your new squeeze leaves notes for you to find and devotes an entire weekend for fun activities and quality time together. The next week, you’re lucky to hear from them at all. This hot and cold behavior is a sign they’re not ready, according to Amy Deacon, clinical social worker and founder of Toronto Wellness Counseling.

Related: This is the real reason your sex drive drops.

Relationship, couple in carphoto credit: shutterstock

One way or the highway

If they only go to the movies they want to see, only try the restaurants they’re interested in, and only meet you on their terms, watch out: “This may be a sign that the person is not going to take your thoughts or feelings into consideration moving forward,” says Deacon.

Related: Are you attracting the wrong type? Stop making these dating app mistakes.

Relationship, rude personphoto credit: shutterstock

Nasty to others

If they often lose their cool with wait staff and salespeople, watch out: You could be next, warns Deacon. “Be careful and mindful of how they treat others, for as the relationship develops, that same treatment will most definitely come your way,” says Deacon.

Related: Why love might be the reason you love a long, healthy life.

Relationship, couple holding handsphoto credit: shutterstock

They won’t come clean about the relationship

It’s been a couple of months and they still won’t talk about what’s happening between you. “Clarify whether this is a fling, an open relationship, or a relationship where both parties are hoping to cultivate a future, and act accordingly,” says Deacon. If your new love interest avoids this conversation, or makes jokes about it, they’re being disrespectful, according to Deacon: “It’s an indication that the person does not have the emotional capacity or maturity to handle tough conversations.”

Related: 12 subtle signs your partner is cheating on you.

Relationship, woman looking in mirrorphoto credit: shutterstock

They’re hypercritical

Maybe they were just joking. Perhaps the shirt does make you look fat. Or, yes, you could stand to lose some weight. Stop right there: If your confidence is tanking, it’s time to leave. According to marriage and family therapist Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT, emotional abuse is when one partner makes the other feel afraid and lowers their self-esteem with the goal of making them feel like no one else in the world will love them like they do. “Often times the person suffering abuse will feel that they can’t leave the emotional abuser because there is no one better out there for them,” she warns.

Related: How to talk to your partner about childhood emotional neglect.

Relationship, friends at cafephoto credit: shutterstock

Your friends and family aren’t fans

“Your family and friends usually want what’s best for you and sometimes they can see situations more clearly than we can,” advises Thompson. “Getting their perspective might be helpful in seeing any red flags you may be consciously or unconsciously avoiding.”

Related: Here are 8 bad habits that end friendships.

Relationship Mushroomsphoto credit: shutterstock

They don’t know you hate mushrooms

They never ask about your day—but go on for hours about theirs. They’re quick to tell you why film noir is their favourite, but have no idea that you love documentaries. “You want someone who wants to know all of you—what makes you tick, what you like, and where you come from. If they have little interest, it’s a red flag,” says Thompson.

Related: 75 percent of people think this one trait makes you more attractive.

Relationship, batteriesphoto credit: shutterstock

You’re reminded of Fatal Attraction

“Unbridled emotional experiences like feeling ‘swept away’ may suggest that we are not in control of the passion in our relationship but rather are being controlled by it,” says Suzie Pileggi Pawelski, MAPP, who co-authored Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology To Build Love That Lasts, with husband James Pawelski, PhD. “If the intensity continues months into the relationship it can be a warning sign that you’re addicted to the rush of obsessive passion rather than a healthier, more sustainable type of love.”

Related: This is why you shouldn’t rely on physical attraction when dating.

Relationship, forgetting yourselfphoto credit: shutterstock

You’re forgetting yourself

If you’ve closed the cover on your monthly book club and struck out with your softball team because you can’t spend a moment away from your new love, pump the brakes. “This could be a sign that you have lost yourself in an unhealthy way in your relationship. These unhealthy habits lead to dependency in relationships and is not conducive to building long-term love,” says Pawelski.

Related: 22 ways to remind yourself that you’re worthy of love, success and happiness.

Originally published as 15 Early Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Going to Last on ReadersDigest.com.

Filed Under: Relationships

Watch This

Secrets to Staying Healthy & Happy

30 Quick and Easy Breakfast Ideas That Are Super Healthy

It’s the most important meal of the day. And with the help of these easy healthy recipes, it’s also the most delicious.

Hicking Checklist, a woman hiking in British Columbia

Everything You’ll Need To Go Hiking This Weekend

It’s been a while since we were a Girl Guide or a Brownie, so we prepped this hiking refresher. Find out the best ways to be prepared on your trek with our list of Canadian trails, hiking apps, portable food and more.

How much do you know about toothbrushes?

Take this quiz to reveal how much you know about that bathroom sink fixture, the toothbrush

New Year's Resolutions, note pad

The Sneaky Way You’re Sabotaging Your Own New Year’s Resolutions

Every January, we pledge that this will be the year we keep our resolutions – and then we don’t. Why is that? Inspirational author Jon Acuff’s new book, Finish, has the answer you never saw coming.

Exhausted woman sleeps sitting up on couch

Tired of Being Tired? It Could Be Your Iron Levels

Here are a few ways to reclaim your energy.

We Also Think You’ll Like:

  • 6 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Heart Health
  • This is How Meghan Markle is Prepping for her May 19th Wedding to Prince Harry
  • An Easy Plant-Based Appetizer That’s Perfect for Vegans
  • A Saucy, One-Pan Spanish Chicken Bake for a Rainy Day
  • What Canadians Need to Know About Organ Donation

 

subscribe to Best Health

Subscribe to BH

Subscribe for a chance to win a $40,000 car!

  • Subscribe
  • Give a gift
  • Digital Editions

CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

DON'T MISS A DAY OF BEST HEALTH

Featured Content

How an anonymous stem cell donation saved one boy’s life

At any given time, more than 1,000 Canadians are waiting for a stem cell donation. Read about one family’s inspiring story

CONTESTS

Vinylux Facebook Live Giveaway

Official rules.

Win The Best

Enter for a chance to be 1 of 4 lucky readers to win all prize packs!

Write + win!

Tell us what you think of the April/ May issue!

ABOUT BEST HEALTH

Best Health is a health & wellness magazine from renowned publisher Reader’s Digest that brings an inspiring voice to today’s contemporary Canadian woman.

  • Email Communications
    • Sign Up
    • Unsubscribe
    • Manage
  • Magazine
    • Subscribe
    • Give a gift
    • Digital Edition
  • About Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Site Map
  • Contact Us
    • Advertise with us
    • Customer care

DON’T MISS A DAY OF BEST HEALTH

CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Show Full Site

© 2018, Reader's Digest Magazine Canada Limited - © 2018 , The Reader's Digest Association (Canada) ULC - All rights reserved.

Please support this website by adding us to your whitelist in your ad blocker. Ads are what helps us bring you premium content! Thank you!